(Kahn’s Korner) Today’s question comes from Sarge from St. Paul, Minnesota.

Sarge’s Question: Meow?Why does my owner feel the need to dress me up every October and snap photos? I don't like it. It's humiliating. ~ Sarge

Kahn’s Answer: Sarge, you are correct. Humans do have a penchant for putting ridiculous pieces of fabric and other materials on themselves, their young ones, dogs, and us cats. Especially this time of year. They “think”  it is “cute,” “adorable,” and “funny.” Ha. Ha.

You have two options when a human subjects you to the indignity of a costume.

The first option is the “harness and leash” technique. I am sure you know what I am talking about. Remember the time your handler farcically thought that they would leash train you? And you simply laid there, not moving the entire time the harness was on you? If the human is able to restrain you long enough to get a costume on you, then just lay there. If you are not providing them with a photo op that will enhance their standing on social media channels, your handler will most likely become bored and remove the costume.

The second option is the “retch and be free” technique. Once the costume is on you, strike a pose that is most becoming to you. At the moment the human is ready to take a picture, hack up a hairball or upchuck your lunch. Make sure most of the substance lands on the costume. There should be enough on the costume to require your handler to remove the costume immediately. And if you time it just right, the photo will be taken at just the right moment to catch your award winning performance.

I sincerely empathize with all cats who must endure the Halloween season under the threat of being made the subject of a Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram post. Or, heaven forbid, a meme. I wish you well.

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Have a question for me? Submit it to meow@kahnthecat.com. Please include your first name, the city and state in which you reside, and your personal photo, if available.

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  1. By submitting a question, understand that you are asking for advise from a cat. I have not been formally educated, I have not earned any degrees, and I have no licenses. Therefore, temper your expectations accordingly. Although my advice is alway brilliant, you must use your best judgement in implementing said advice.
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