Your honor. I present exhibit A – a video of a drooling dog and his owner doing play-by-play commentary – as to why cats are a far superior species. In this video, idiotic dog owners show excitement over the length of the dog’s drool. If I were to drool, my handlers would attempt to take me to the vet. Emphasis on attempt. After watching this video, your honor, I believe you’ll waste no time in upholding cats as more cunning, intelligent, and superior to drooling dogs. I rest my case:

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