Kahn’s Korner – Dirty Water Bowl

Kahn’s Korner – Dirty Water Bowl

(Kahn’s Korner) Today’s question comes from Iggy from San Diego, California. Iggy’s Question: Meow?My water bowl is not kept clean to my meticulous standards. How can I get my owners to wash it out on a regular basis? ~ Iggy Kahn’s Answer: First things first, Iggy. The humans that are failing you do not “own” you. The reality is that you are in charge. This is a fact that you must consistently remind them of. Although most human handlers want to do anything to please us felines, sometime their ignorance and laziness leaves them woefully inadequate in many ways. When humans become oblivious to your needs, then you must GAME them. What is GAME? 1) Get their attention. 2) Act out. 3) Manipulate the situation. 4) Enjoy the rewards. In the case of old, stale water, here is what you must do. First, find a plush cat toy, a used cotton swab, or a piece of clothing and place it into your water bowl. (Bonus if the item contains a dye that turns the water a color. Try for red, as it is the color of “urgency.”) Next, stand at the water bowl and meow. When the humans come to investigate the noise, make sure to look back and forth between them and the bowl with a pitiful face. Upon seeing the item in the water bowl, they should feel obligated to clean it out for you. If your human handlers are a bit dense, you may have to escalate the situation by dumping your dry food into your water bowl. Eventually, you will be rewarded with fresh water in a clean bowl. Remember, Iggy – they don’t “own” you. Humans are blessed when in...
Kahn’s Corner – Halloween Cat Costumes

Kahn’s Corner – Halloween Cat Costumes

(Kahn’s Korner) Today’s question comes from Sarge from St. Paul, Minnesota. Sarge’s Question: Meow?Why does my owner feel the need to dress me up every October and snap photos? I don't like it. It's humiliating. ~ Sarge Kahn’s Answer: Sarge, you are correct. Humans do have a penchant for putting ridiculous pieces of fabric and other materials on themselves, their young ones, dogs, and us cats. Especially this time of year. They “think”  it is “cute,” “adorable,” and “funny.” Ha. Ha. You have two options when a human subjects you to the indignity of a costume. The first option is the “harness and leash” technique. I am sure you know what I am talking about. Remember the time your handler farcically thought that they would leash train you? And you simply laid there, not moving the entire time the harness was on you? If the human is able to restrain you long enough to get a costume on you, then just lay there. If you are not providing them with a photo op that will enhance their standing on social media channels, your handler will most likely become bored and remove the costume. The second option is the “retch and be free” technique. Once the costume is on you, strike a pose that is most becoming to you. At the moment the human is ready to take a picture, hack up a hairball or upchuck your lunch. Make sure most of the substance lands on the costume. There should be enough on the costume to require your handler to remove the costume immediately. And if you time it just right, the photo will be taken at just the...
Kahn’s Korner – Same Food Every Day

Kahn’s Korner – Same Food Every Day

(Kahn’s Korner) Today’s question comes from Fluffy from Saratoga, Florida. Fluffy’s Question: Meow?Why does my owner feed me the exact same food everyday? Should I boycott eating in order to get something different? ~ Fluffy Kahn’s Answer: Fluffy, you are absolutely right. Handlers tend to get complacent when it comes to dinner time. There is no excuse for serving you the same food day in and day out. They are just being lazy. In your particular situation, I would not recommend that you boycott your meals. If your handlers notice that you stopped eating, they may take you to the dreaded veterinarian. You want to avoid that at all costs. Instead, I recommend a two-step process: First, eat at least some of your boring food. It is very important that your handlers see you eating. Second, with your handlers still in hearing range, tip the bowl over. You have got to make it really clatter. The food, if dry, should scatter all over the place. This works really well on hard surfaced floors. It is even better if your food bowl is kept above the floor, like mine is. Having a bowl of food drop three feet to the floor really sends your handlers a message. Never fear, Fluffy! By using my proven technique, I assure you the your handlers will soon get the point and begin serving you a wide selection of...

Pin It on Pinterest